From Clutter to Clarity: Recovery’s Hidden Work

How clearing mental and emotional clutter helps you find peace in sobriety

When I was drinking, I thought no one would know. But, my home told on me.

Rotting food shoved in the fridge. Dirty laundry piled in corners. Clothes scattered across the closet floor. Nothing folded—nothing in its place. My environment silently echoed the chaos inside my mind—a reflection of everything I was trying not to feel: regrets, shame, confusion, overwhelm.

I’m a Virgo, naturally neat. Years ago, my nephew came upstairs from my basement, wide-eyed: “I’ve NEVER seen such a neat basement!” My sister—his mother—looked embarrassed, and I felt a flush of triumph that her little sister had it together.

But that was before alcohol took over my life.

When I sank deep into drinking, the chaos in my house mirrored the chaos in my mind—not just the mess I could see, but also the clutter in my heart—looping worries, self-criticism, old hurts.

My home became a mirror—and it wasn’t pretty.

There’s a saying in recovery:“Get out of your head. It’s a bad neighborhood, and no one likes you.”

That line stuck with me, because my mind really didn’t feel safe back then—wired with self-blame, regret, and anxious loops. For years, I tried to outrun it with alcohol. Once I got sober, cleaning my house came surprisingly easily. But the deeper challenge—the real work—was clearing out the mental and emotional junk I’d stored up for so long.

It’s Not Just Metaphor: What Clutter Does to Us

Science agrees: clutter steals our peace.

Research from the Princeton Neuroscience Institute shows that clutter bombards the brain with excess stimuli, making it harder to focus, raising stress hormones, disrupting sleep, and worsening anxiety and depression. Even a messy kitchen counter rattles your nerves.

But there’s more to it than dirty dishes or junk drawers. There’s the mental clutter—the beliefs we’ve outgrown yet keep dragging around like a bag of old clothes. Thoughts looping endlessly. People who no longer belong in our lives but still take up space in our minds. Old scripts whispering that we aren’t good enough, worthy enough, or capable of change.

Just like a messy house, a cluttered mind keeps us overwhelmed, stuck, and unable to move forward.

Recovery Is Decluttering

When I first put the bottle down, I thought the hardest part of sobriety would be giving up alcohol. I didn’t realize that, to stay sober—and to actually build a healthy life—I’d have to start sorting and clearing out all the mental and emotional junk I’d piled up in my head.

The shame that told me I was broken.

The fear that whispered I’d never change.

The anger and grief shoved so far back, I didn’t know they were still rotting there.

In recovery, I began cleaning out those rooms in my mind—and something incredible has happened. One woman I know with four years of solid recovery summed it up: “When we start clearing our minds, we attract healthier people.”

She’s right. As I continue to strip away shame and false identities, I have stopped tolerating relationships that drained me. I am starting to draw in people who reflect the healthier me I am becoming.

Sometimes, the clutter wasn’t just mess—it was armor. I held on to broken objects, harsh memories, even toxic relationships because they were familiar. Clearing them out has forced me to ask: Who am I without all this chaos?

And I learned—peace isn’t emptiness. It’s spaciousness. It’s possibility.

A Real-Life Test of Peace

Last year, when my husband Barry’s diagnosis of Stage One melanoma jumped to Stage Four in less than three months, everything in our world changed.

Yet as I handled doctors’ appointments, managed his care, tracked his schedule and nutrition, I noticed something unexpected—I felt a sense of peace. I accepted what was happening—life on life’s terms—and just did what was needed, one step at a time.

But it wasn’t just calm in my actions—my mind was quiet, too. I didn’t panic. I didn’t curse God. I didn’t spiral into “life is unfair.” (Truthfully, I did get shingles, so my body was handling the stress in its own way.) But deep inside, there was a calm I hadn’t felt since… maybe ever.

A few months into his treatment, I said to Barry, “Either my recovery program is working, or I’m insane.” He smiled back with warmth and pride in his eyes.

Looking back, I realized that inner quiet wasn’t new—it had always been there, buried under years of clutter. Recovery didn’t give me peace; it returned me to the peace that was already mine.

Simple Decluttering Practices

Clutter doesn’t clear itself. Some days, it creeps back in, heavier than ever. Having rituals helps:

• Mental inventory: Write down every swirling thought. Then ask: Is this true? Does it help me heal? If not, let it go—even just a sliver at a time.

• Ritual of release: Picture each heavy thought as an object you place on the curb. Say goodbye. Feel the weight drop away.

• Physical decluttering: Bagging up clothes that no longer fit me felt ceremonial. As I dragged the bags out, I realized—I can do the same with my thoughts.

The Miracle of Space

Marie Kondo is famous for asking, “Does it spark joy?” I ask instead: “Does this thought, belief, or person help me heal?”

If not—it’s clutter. And clutter costs us our peace.

Letting go isn’t a one-time sweep. It’s daily, sometimes hourly. Some days, I open closet doors in my mind and find something rotten I’d forgotten. That’s normal. The gift is, each time I set something down, I make room for hope, for self-respect, for new life.

These days, when I walk through my home, I notice the air and the light—the freedom to move. My closets are clearer, but more importantly, my mind has room to breathe.

That’s the miracle decluttering offers: a life with space for peace to come in and stay awhile

✨ Next week in the Summer of Alignment series: Decluttering the Body—how listening to what it really needs helps us live aligned, inside and out.

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Mark your calendars!

On September 17th, from 6–7 p.m., I’ll be hosting my very first workshop on the RETURN Method—my approach to doing the deep inner work and “cleaning your mind.”